Maybe a recent mistake entered your mind. You fixed it right away when it happened, but somehow that doesn’t feel like enough. You think you’d like to do something special to demonstrate how sorry you are, but that takes more time than you have. On top of that, a friend or family member wants a favor.  Despite how busy you are.

You rack your brains – can you squeeze it all in? Can you please and appease everybody? Suddenly, you feel short of breath. Guilt has a chokehold on you, and you feel drained, diminished … and trapped.

It’s useful to explore how guilt colors your daily choices.

• Do you easily say No to others’ excessive demands?
• Do you give away your time to avoid their accusing stares?
• And how big a bite do regret and remorse take out of your day, your month, and your year?

Well, here’s encouraging news: no matter what mistakes you’ve made, or who feels disappointed, guilt does not belong in your life!  Not only that, but when you banish guilt, you revitalize yourself in the process.

Experience how your energy changes as you discard one common myth about guilt, using decisiveness and compassion:

MYTH: “Guilt proves I have a conscience and am a good person.”

To counter this myth and revitalize yourself, step in with a clear-eyed dose of reality and a powerful affirmation.

REALITY: Guilt keeps me stuck in shame and anger.

As you put aside your guilt you can embrace your power to learn and grow! Accept your fallibility, treat yourself with genuine compassion, and let yourself move on.

AFFIRMATION: “I refuse to give in to guilt. I befriend my mistakes to learn valuable lessons!”

When you give yourself the gift of this affirmation everything looks different.  It’s like the sun breaking through clouds.  You revitalize yourself with this powerful (and empowering) shift in your perspective.

Are you feeling ready to start to banish your guilt and revitalize yourself?  What does that process look like for you? Picture it, make it real, and drop me a line – I’d love to hear how it goes!

And are you interested in deepening your relationship to time in the Heart-Based Way?  Then, I invite you to explore Secrets of Heart-Based Time Management - my chapter in the book I co-authored - Stepping Stones to Success!  In it I share my proven system for exploring and harnessing the power of your mind, your body and your spirit to help you deepen your experience of time and of your life.  As you work with the ideas I offer, you’ll explore your patterns, clarify your values, identify and prioritize your goals … and create your path for achieving them.  You can give yourself the gift of this wonderful resource today, and get started on your journey toward success, Stepping Stone by Stepping Stone …just click this link to get the details!

Let’s explore time together …

Related articles

• Finding Time to Feel then Deal with Disaster (thetimefinder.com)
• Find Time to Value Your Values the Heart-Based Way (thetimefinder.com)
• Find Time When You Need It Most Using Timely Flexible Focus (thetimefinder.com)
• Find Time to Bust Your Time Gremlins and Break Out of Your Time Traps! (thetimefinder.com)

When confronted with sudden change, one key coping strategy is to take a step back and give yourself time to let your feelings out about what has happened.

You’ll notice I didn’t say ”explore”, but “let out”. You can take time to explore later, but in the heat of the moment it’s vital to “take the top off” in a safe setting.  This will help you think as clearly as possible as quickly as possible.  Doing this gives you access to you best problem-solving abilities, as you meet whatever challenges arise.

Once you have done what you can to clear the air for yourself, it’s important to quickly assess the situation, and address emergent challenges and problems. Mitigate the immediate damage as best you can, and prepare for whatever the next step might be.

Throughout the process, as you sort things out, be aware that you may need to take moments here and there to safely vent feelings of frustration and loss that will muddy the waters if left to fester.  Then you can return to your practical problem-solving with more clarity and positive energy.

Attitude of Gratitude. In the midst of unexpected change, there are always things to be grateful for. When you reflect on what you are grateful for you create a nourishing base of positive energy for yourself.  This is a vital and affirming touchstone that can sustain you through turmoil as you deal with disaster.

It is remarkably helpful to open yourself to the process of unfolding change.  Your focus will shift and narrow to what lies straight ahead as you deal with disaster.  Don’t fight it.  As time moves forward, your vista will widen again.

Here are 3 things that you can count on as you deal with disaster … even as you  feel like your world has been turned upside down:

• With each moment, the impact and ramifications of what has happened will be felt, like ripples on water.
• With each moment you will have new challenges and opportunities to respond to.
• And with each choice you make, you shape the next moment.

A disaster like Hurricane Irene can feel like it is a single event in time – but really, that event is just the start of a moment-by-moment evolution that can take you in directions that you might never have imagined.  Remaining as open as you can to this process is a wonderful gift you can give yourself!

These skills will simplify and deepen your experience as you deal with disaster … or most anything.  And they can be lifesavers!  How can you apply them in your life?

Let’s explore time together …

And while I’m on the subject of exploration, transformation and empowerment, are you a solopreneur, consultant, or small business owner who’s ready to take the next big step?  If you want to learn how to create and to keep a successful business running on your own, then this is for you!

“How to Create Credibility as a Freelancer” is a booklet with 70 expert-proven tips that will help you recharge your energy and motivation, increase your visibility, and sharpen those vital organizational and time management skills.  Success is within your reach, so don’t wait, click this link and get started today!  http://bit.ly/FreelanceTips

Related articles

• Find Time to Transform Your Feelings About Time by Tuning in to the Words You Use to Describe It (thetimefinder.com)
• Find Time to Prepare, Adjust and Carry On When Life Throws You a Curve (thetimefinder.com)

Ours is not a culture that is welcoming of the aging process.  And that’s understandable, as wrapped in our aging is our mortality.  But denial never helps.  And in reality, there are few things as rewarding as:

• Finding time to accommodate changes as you age, and
• Finding time to achieve true contentment as you grow to meet these essential challenges.

Aging is one of those sneaky surprises. Intellectually, you know that with each birthday you grow older. However, some of the consequences of growing older can creep up on you, giving you an emotional jolt and leaving you without a plan, or even without the time required to make the necessary adjustments.  When you find yourself in that spot, you know you’ve fallen into a time trap!

For example – does it seem that, as you age, projects ’suddenly’ take much longer to complete? Of course, the slowdown has actually been occurring gradually over some period of time. But your realization of the reality of slowing down can seem to come out of the blue.

The challenge, when you find yourself in this kind of a situation is to avoid three types of reactions that are really Time Traps because they keep you from living your moments as fully as possible:

1. First, avoid denial. It is tempting, when you first realize that it takes you longer to complete a task, to think this is a one-time occurrence and that if you simply focus and work harder, your original efficiency will return. It’s a time trap to behave as if something is going to return to the way it was when it probably won’t.
2. Second, avoid becoming entrenched in anger and frustration.  This is a natural initial response, but as you grow angrier and more frustrated, you also become slower and less accurate.  This time trap creates a vicious cycle in which your frustration grows as your efficiency and effectiveness dwindle
3. Third, don’t remain mired in sadness. It is important, of course, to grieve the loss of your former level of efficiency as you work to embrace your new reality. By acknowledging and accepting this, you gain clarity about your options.  Expressing your grief is one of the most freeing, cleansing, and deepening experiences that you can give yourself.  The time trap comes into it if your grief is persistent and debilitating.

The difficulty that accompanies denial, chronic resentment, or despondency is that these responses limit your ability to make functional and appropriate time choices.

A much more fruitful and enriching path is to take the heart-based time management approach.  Acknowledge your feelings of loss, and express them in appropriate ways within appropriate contexts. Then prepare to resolve the issues that arise. This balanced approach will keep you grounded and aware. It will enable you to maintain clarity and problem-solve effectively, to move forward, and to feel good about what you accomplish.

That is your challenge as you greet your aging and avoid the time traps that can accompany this process – or really any process that involves loss!  (And really, when you step back and think about it, this applies to ANY change – where there are always gains and losses … things to greet and things to grieve.)

So, how are you greeting your aging – or other changes that you may be challenged by?  Drop me a line … I’d love to hear your challenges, questions, and successes!

And if you enjoyed reading this post, here’s something more to consider.  You can now access our Time Finder posts in real time … right on your Kindle.   Try it out for 14 days FREE!  You’ll receive new content wirelessly, on your Kindle, every time we post!

So, what if you could find another hour every day? You can! You are invited to sign up for your FREE Finding Time Success Kit. It puts 3 key tools for your time success right into your hands! Claim it and see how you can recharge your energy, reduce overwhelm and frustration, and come to learn that 24 hours really ARE enough!

Let’s explore time together …

Related articles

• Find Time to Create a Goal-Setting Mindset to Achieve Success: 3 Timely Tips (thetimefinder.com)
• 3 Powerful Tips to Find Time to Do Your To Do List (blogher.com)
• Finding Time to Outwit Another Time Gremlin: The Procrastinator (thetimefinder.com)

So how can you find quality time that frees you?  Sometimes it’s simply a quick change in attitude that brings the sunshine right inside you. 

Here’s one mantra that I’ve found helpful:

Engaging fulfills me, acquiring depletes me!

This is a powerful perspective to cultivate. Shifting your goal from acquiring to engaging expands both your vitality AND your sense of time!  Here’s a quick example of how this works in practice:

Let’s say you must meet with people you don’t know well. Perhaps they might help advance your career. You nervously wonder if you have what they’re looking for. If only you had more time to prepare! Your energy starts to drop.

Then, you remind yourself; you’ll manage well enough regardless, AND you have an idea you’d love to share with them. Suddenly, your energy and enthusiasm return! As you relax, you enter into spacious time.

How did you achieve this turnaround?  By “rediscovering” your inner abundance!

With a seemingly small shift, you moved yourself from a scarcity perspective, where you felt anxious to acquire something, to an abundance mentality.  Coming from that mentality of abundance, you remember that you have something that you want to offer.  When you are acting from that place your energy is very different – not constricted and anxious … rather, it is expansive and freeing!

This is the daily magic of wholehearted engagement. It’s like diving into a wave and letting it carry you forward as it crests. Your desire to participate fully in life and in the moment opens your heart and your mind. You fully savor the moment, where all of your power of choice resides!

You are far more likely to feel contented at the end of a day of open-handed involvement. Try it and see … and let me know how it goes for you … I’d love to hear!

And don’t forget nourishment for your creative soul!  Though the call with Artist and Creativity Coach Ellene Breedlove Davis is over, you can still access the FREE MP3 by clicking the link for:  Finding Time to Be Creative: Portrait of the Artist.  When you use your creativity to enhance your life, you will develop even more incentive for developing your best ideas and making them a reality.

What if you could find another hour every day? You can! You are invited to sign up for your FREE Finding Time Success Kit. It puts 3 key tools for your time success right into your hands! Grab it and see how you can recharge your energy, reduce overwhelm and frustration, and come to learn that 24 hours really ARE enough!

Let’s explore time together …

Finding time for dialogue with members of the Finding Time community is one of my favorite things! We invite readers’ questions and comments – and I love highlighting them here, most Thursday’s. Read on – and please feel invited to join in!

Here’s a question about dealing with sudden change, from Theresa in Chicago:

Dear Paula,

I need your help for a sudden change that my family is confronted with! My partner must relocate to Atlanta within weeks to keep his sales manager position.

He is our main breadwinner, and his saying no isn’t an option in this economy. But I have no experience moving to a new location, and must ready my 2 school-aged children, as well!

My head is spinning, I’ve lost my appetite and I can’t think or sleep. But everyone is counting on me! Can you please advise me how to make it through this ordeal? I hope you can answer this right away.

Thanks so much.

Theresa

And here’s my response …

Hi Theresa

You certainly have a lot on your plate! Here are some ideas for you to consider, as you navigate this challenging time!

1. The first thing I would suggest is to stop and find a comfortable place to sit, perhaps in a favorite room. Close your eyes and become aware of your breathing. Make sure you are breathing deeply and from your belly.
2. Next, create an affirmation that you can take with you at all times. For example, “I’ll get through this one minute at a time,” or “Step by step will get me there.” Use this as a mantra and a guide.  Also, don’t be shy about changing it as things evolve.  You can adapt your tools to your needs at each stage!
3. Be creative about options, and flexible. Family members may be unsettled for a while. So it may help to relax your expectations a bit until new routines can be established.
4. Concretize everything in writing, including an ongoing list to record items as they come to you. That frees up your mind for other tasks. Focus on one thing at a time. Validate even the smallest successes.  This is key!
5. Delegate tasks and ask for help. Engage your children in age-appropriate activities. That helps them develop understanding and ownership of the move.

I hope you find this helpful.

Best of luck to you … I’ll be thinking about you as your move unfolds!

Paula

What kinds of sudden changes have you had in your life?  How did you cope?  Do you have time questions you’d like me to explore here?  Please drop me a line at paula@thetimefinder.com – I’d love to hear!

Oh, and don’t forget to join me on Wednesday, March 3 at 7PM ET as I interview Certified Life Coach and Professional Organizer Maggie McCauley, LICSW about moving yourself “From Chaos to Peace—Creating an Inspired Workspace.” Maggie will let you in on the secrets to stop letting chaos and clutter drain your time and energy, sap your creativity, and cost you money!  Be sure to grab your free seat and join us!

What if you could find another hour every day? You can! You are invited to sign up for your FREE Finding Time Success Kit. It puts 3 key tools for your time success right into your hands! Grab it and see how you can recharge your energy, reduce overwhelm and frustration, and come to learn that 24 hours really ARE enough!

Let’s explore time together …

But what about the “expected unexpected”?  For example, here in New Hampshire, a wintry mix of snow, sleet and rain is predicted just about every day this week.  Some days are expected to be messier than others … but we could have some wintry difficulties ahead, with all of their attendant tie challenges.

Or maybe not.  Last week on the strength of the weather predictions many area superintendents closed the schools … only to have the storm wait until pretty much the end of the school day to arrive.  The kids were happy, but a school day was lost.

So, what’s the best way to respond when disruption can be anticipated, but isn’t a sure thing?  Here are 3 tips to consider:

• First and foremost, put yourself into the mindset of acceptance. This doesn’t mean being passive.  What it does mean is letting in the fact that “this could happen” and building from there.  If you are in denial about the blizzard, it’s bound to disrupt things even more.  Acceptance provides a base for moving forward as creatively and productively as possible.  It also helps address the anxiety that the “expected unexpected” can produce.
• Second, scan your upcoming schedule, prioritize, and develop contingency plans. Having accepted the possibilities ahead, you’ll be able to bring your most creative and proactive self to this challenge.  You may find that you make unexpected, helpful discoveries as you do this.  Maybe there are ways that you can streamline your schedule … even if the “expected unexpected” doesn’t materialize!
• That being said, remember the NH school superintendents, and gather as much information as you can before making decisions.  Strive to be agile and grounded in calm acceptance so that you don’t over-react to the possibilities. This can be a big challenge, though.  So also be sure to forgive yourself if and when you guess wrong!

Being prepared for the expected unexpected is a challenge that we face with some frequency in our lives.  How do you handle it?  Drop me a line – I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences!

What if you could find another hour every day? You can! You are invited to sign up for your FREE Finding Time Success Kit. It puts 3 key tools for your time success right into your hands! Grab it and see how you can recharge your energy, reduce overwhelm and frustration, and come to learn that 24 hours really ARE enough!

Let’s explore time together …